


why go risking the way that i see you?

by leedokyum



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Pining, other members are mentioned, seokhan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14695406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leedokyum/pseuds/leedokyum
Summary: seokmin and jeonghan are really not very good at communicating their feelings (hosted for /dogyeom)





	why go risking the way that i see you?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dogyeom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogyeom/gifts).



> written by https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogyeom
> 
> i was gonna delete this and she was gonna re-upload it on her profile but people have been linking it in rec lists so it'll stay here

“Do you think Mingyu likes me?”

 

Jeonghan snaps his head up from the textbooks that he wasn’t _really_ reading from. Seokmin watches him with glazed eyes from across the table, his pen hanging from his mouth. 

 

“Mingyu?”

 

“Yeah…” Seokmin says, he plucks the pen from his mouth with a dramatic sigh. “Kim Mingyu, you know him.”

 

“Everybody knows Kim Mingyu.”

 

Seokmin closes his eyes and leans his head on his hand. Jeonghan wants to rip out a piece of paper from his notebook, scrunch it up and throw it at his stupid, cute face. 

 

“I know.” Seokmin whines. “But I’ve talked to him a bunch of times and he is really, really nice to me… like, I think he flirts with me, you know? Maybe he has a crush on me.”

 

Jeonghan curls his hand into a tight fist. 

 

“Or maybe I’m deluded. Probably that.” Seokmin leans back in the library chair and picks up his pen again. Jeonghan pretends to be writing something, not wanting to look distressed by Seokmin’s latest lovestruck lament. 

 

“He’s so fucking handsome.” Seokmin appears to be struggling to abide by the rules of volume in the library so Jeonghan kicks him under the table. “It’s just not fair. How can he walk around looking like a damn runway model but when you talk to him he’s like, this adorable little puppy.”

 

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, fighting back a scowl. He wishes Seokmin would just shut up. 

 

“Maybe I should make a move on him first. See how it goes. I need to stop waiting around for guys.”

 

_Yeah_ , Jeonghan thinks. _Me fucking too_. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

“Guess what?” Seokmin all but shouts in Jeonghan’s ear as he slips into the chair next to him in the lecture hall. Jeonghan was trying to catch a few winks of a nap before their tardy professor arrived but his megaphone of a best friend had other plans.

 

“What?” Jeonghan snaps, nursing his head with his hand to mock Seokmin’s rude intrusion. 

 

“I wouldn’t have to tell you if you had come out with me and Josh last night.” Seokmin says with a roll of his eyes as he slips his phone from his pocket and kicks his feet up onto the desk. 

 

“I was tired.” Jeonghan pushes forward so that he is leaning on the desk, his cheek pressed to his forearm. 

 

“Well, while your lazy ass was sleeping, I was getting off with Kim Mingyu at _Feathers_.”

 

Jeonghan didn’t mean to snap up from the desk so harshly. 

 

“What?” Seokmin asks, face full of innocence. 

 

“You kissed Mingyu?” Jeonghan tries to keep his voice calm. 

 

Seokmin grins, his face full of sun. “Yeah. I told you he liked me. I didn’t even approach him first, he came to me. Josh said he was eyeing me all night but I didn’t believe him.”

 

“Did you…you know…” Jeonghan swallows, not really wanting to hear the answer.

 

“No.” Seokmin sighs, as if to saying “No, we didn’t have sex… _unfortunately_.” Jeonghan’s fists clench without him even realising it until his fingernails are pressing painfully into the skin. “Josh and I went home pretty early. We just kissed for a bit and he gave me his number. I’ve been too scared to text him.”

 

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything. 

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Nothing.” Jeonghan almost snaps, but manages to save face at the last minute. 

 

“Alright then.” Seokmin shuffles back in his chair to get a comfortable position. “Anyway, Josh says that he should be coming to Cheol’s party on Sunday, so I might get my chance again. Would it be forward of me to ask him out? Josh says it isn’t.”

 

“Well if _Josh_ says so.”

 

“Seriously, Han, who pissed on your toast this morning?”

 

“No one.” Jeonghan sighs and shoots Seokmin a weak smile. “I’m just really tired.”

 

“You should get an early night tonight.”

 

“OK, mum.”

 

Seokmin grins again and Jeonghan feels warmth all over his body. 

 

“I might nap too,” Seokmin says suddenly. “Got fuck all sleep last night and I have a shit hangover. Hope I dream of Mingyu.”

 

Jeonghan scowls at the front of the lecture hall. He _hates_ Kim Mingyu. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

Jeonghan stumbles into the first door on Seungcheol’s landing in search of a toilet, which is where he sees Jeon Wonwoo in Kim Mingyu’s lap on an already tousled bed, their mouths working together and hands all over each other. Neither of them notice Jeonghan as he steps in, stares with his mouth hanging open, then steps out again — practically slamming the door as he goes. He trips and slips his way downstairs and into the kitchen, ignoring his screaming bladder and reaches for another drink. 

 

“Hannie!” Seokmin pretty much screams as he skips his way over to Jeonghan. “Where have you been?”

 

“Dancing,” He lies. 

 

“Oh, well, you probably haven’t seen Mingyu then. I’ve been looking for him everywhere. I don’t think he’s even here. Joshua is _such_ a liar.”

 

Jeonghan scowls. He’s been doing that a lot lately. 

 

“Look, Seoku… I don’t think it’s a good idea to go after Mingyu.” Jeonghan chokes out, filling his mouth with cider once the words are out as if he’s trying to put them back in. 

 

Seokmin’s eyebrows pinch together. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I just…” Jeonghan sighs and rubs a hand over his face. He doesn’t want Seokmin with anyone else but he doesn’t want to see him upset either. _But it’s not sabotaging anything if I literally walked in on Seok’s crush necking off with another guy_. “I think Mingyu’s not… right. He got off with Wonwoo earlier. As in Jeon Wonwoo, you know? Like, he doesn’t want a relationship. He just wants to get in your pants.”

 

“Jeon Wonwoo?” Jeonghan nods. Seokmin scoffs. “As if.” 

 

“It’s true, I walked in on them earlier—“

 

“Mingyu wouldn’t…” Seokmin stares at the ground for seconds on end, as if he’s trying to work something out. 

 

“I know you liked him, Minnie, but—“

 

“Maybe you should mind your own business.” Seokmin snaps suddenly, making Jeonghan jump out of his skin. 

 

Seokmin stomps out of the room and slams the door behind him. It takes Jeonghan a few minutes to realise that he’s started crying. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

It only takes a day (and a half) for Seokmin to talk to Jeonghan again. He knocks on the door of the apartment he shares with Joshua and all but collapses on top of him when Jeonghan opens the door.  


“ _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_.” Seokmin mumbles into Jeonghan’s shoulder. The elder’s arms tighten automatically around Seokmin’s frame, savouring the warmth of his embrace. “I didn’t mean it. I’m not mad at you. You were right. You’re always right. I hate how smart you are.”

 

Jeonghan chuckles. “It’s alright, Seoku.”

 

“God, I hate it when we’re not talking.” 

 

Jeonghan laughs again, and slumps down onto his tiny sofa, prompting Seokmin to copy. “You act like we aren’t all the time. We’ve only ever fallen out once before, and it was over the oven settings.”

 

Seokmin gives a close-mouthed smile. There’s something really endearing about this, and Jeonghan can’t help but stare in love-struck awe. Seokmin makes everyone so used to his dazzling grin; all of his pearly whites on display and his eyes scrunching up cutely. The small smile is something more special, the kind that is only seen when private jokes or sentimental words are shared. It makes Jeonghan feel special — a feeling he’s desperate to make Seokmin feel all the time. 

 

“Yeah,” Seokmin sighs heavily and crosses his arms over his chest. “I guess we’re just perfect for each other.”

 

Seokmin doesn’t even notice the way Jeonghan almost chokes on his own spit. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

It takes only two weeks before Seokmin is hanging all over another irritatingly handsome stud. This time it’s Vernon Chwe, Seokmin’s tutee Seungkwan’s best friend. Jeonghan scowls into his beer, pretending that he’s not watching them closely as Seokmin giggles and smiles brightly and chatters non-stop to the younger boy — his own adorable and extremely conspicuous way of flirting. Jeonghan wants to storm over there and drag Seokmin away. He wants to tell Vernon that he’s unavailable. He wants to tell Seokmin that he shouldn’t flirt with anyone else but him. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he never does. Because he’s an idiot, and also not a dick. 

 

Instead, he resorts to drowning himself in disgusting concoctions of cheap drink and moving drunkenly on the dancefloor until someone who looks decent through the glaze in his eyes takes him home. It’s a nasty habit and it’s something that Cheol or Joshua will certainly scold him for in the morning, but he doesn’t care. It’s become a routine for Jeonghan to do this, as has pretending that Seokmin isn’t wrapped up in the arms of someone else and the stranger that is dragging Jeonghan by the hand into a hotel room is really his best friend. He hates himself for it, but he can’t help it. 

 

In the morning after Jeonghan has stumbled home, he tunes into white noise as Seokmin rattles through the phone to him about how wonderful Vernon Chwe is. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

Over Christmas, Seokmin starts seeing Wen Junhui — a frustratingly beautiful boy from the acting class that Seokmin took up in September. This subsequently means that Jeonghan sees less of him. When Jeonghan asks Seokmin to get coffee and their favourite muffins, he’s going ice-skating with Jun. When Jeonghan invites Seokmin to spend Christmas Eve with him and his parents, he’s doing last minute shopping with Jun. He becomes more and more enamored with the tall boy until Jeonghan isn’t receiving incessant calls from him anymore and is spending the holiday locked in his room, finishing papers and bingeing shitty shows on Netflix. 

 

That is until Joshua practically forces his way into Jeonghan’s apartment to find him wrapped up like a sausage roll in his duvet, tears dried up on his face. 

 

“I don’t know what to say, Han.” Joshua says with a sigh after making the older boy a huge cup of tea and toast, knowing — like the brilliant friend that he is — that he’s probably not eaten anything all day.

 

“It’s easier said than done to just get over it. I know that… but, I don’t know. I think Seokmin is just going to be ignorant for the rest of his life.” Joshua says wisely.

 

Jeonghan sniffs. He can feel the Tough-Love Joshua coming but he doesn’t have the energy to protest. 

 

“At the same time, he’s never going to know if you don’t tell him. I know that Seokmin thinks the world of you. No matter what you say, no matter how many guys he fucks around with, he loves you. I know he does.”

 

“But he’s with Junhui.” Jeonghan sulks. 

 

Joshua just shakes his head. “Yeah, that won’t last.”

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

As usual, Joshua Hong is right. Seokmin and Junhui break up at New Year’s. Something about Junhui not feeling the same way and being bored. From what Seokmin relays to Jeonghan between hysteric sobs and mouthfuls of reheated takeout, it seems like Junhui was more than unkind and had been pretty much leading Seokmin on. Jeonghan wants to kill him. 

 

“I don’t understand,” Seokmin whines, his tear-stained face pressed into Jeonghan’s side as the older boy threads his fingers softly through his hair. “Why won’t anyone love me?”

 

Jeonghan’s fingers almost tighten in his hair. Almost, but he stops himself. He wants to scream. Wants to grab a hold of Seokmin’s shoulders and shake him, screaming; ‘ _I love you! I am in love with you, you stupid, beautiful, wonderful idiot!_ ’ But he doesn’t.

 

Instead, Jeonghan doesn’t say anything. He lets Seokmin tighten his arms around him and softly cry into his shoulder until he falls asleep. Jeonghan closes his eyes too but doesn’t slip into slumber. He treasures this feeling, the love of his life wrapped around him, his breath hot against Jeonghan’s skin. Jeonghan finds comfort in the way that he can feel his heart beat against him and the soft sounds of his breath in cute little almost-snores. It takes him a while to finally fall asleep, but he doesn’t mind. It’s moments like these where he can be happy, where it feels like they really are one. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

It doesn’t take long for Seokmin to get over Junhui and move on to another squeeze. Jeonghan very nearly loses it when he walks into their regular café at eight o’clock in the morning to find Seokmin pressed up against Kwon Soonyoung from Jeonghan’s dance class in a booth at the back. He does his best to keep himself hidden and inconspicuous, but Seokmin’s eagle eye spots him as he’s hurriedly putting sweeteners into his Americano. 

 

“Jeonghan, hey!” 

 

Jeonghan turns on his heel and feigns a look of surprise. “Hey, Minnie. I didn’t see you here.”

 

“Yeah, me neither,” Seokmin laughs. “This is Soonyoung, by the way. Soonie, this is my best friend Jeonghan.”

 

Jeonghan swallows his spit to fight back a reaction at the affectionate way Seokmin said his nickname. “Yeah, we know each other.”

 

“Jeonghan’s in my class at the studio. I didn’t know you guys were close.” Soonyoung says with a genuine smile. Jeonghan wants to feel sorry for him. 

 

Seokmin smiles back. “Yeah, Jeonghan is like my brother.”

 

Jeonghan nearly drops his drink. “I have to go now. It was lovely to see you, Soonyoung.”

 

Seokmin and Soonyoung date for three and a half months and Jeonghan pretends to be happy for them. He pushes through with work and school as much as he sometimes feels like he wants to die, he puts on a warm smile when Seokmin natters to him about whatever restaurant or movie Soonyoung took him to, he lets Seokmin prioritise Soonyoung over him like he’s supposed to. And when Seokmin’s gone he can fall on Joshua with his tears, who shakes his head in disappointment but comforts him all the same. 

 

When Soonyoung dumps Seokmin (suspiciously, _right_ after the news that Jeon Wonwoo broke up with Kim Mingyu got out), Jeonghan doesn’t see him for days. He knows that he’s been going out, probably getting too drunk and going home with people he shouldn’t, and the mere thought drives Jeonghan crazy. He doesn’t stop him though. He never does. 

 

They do see each other at Seungcheol’s housewarming party at the beginning of June. Jeonghan finds Seokmin inebriated and half passed-out on the stairs. Seokmin immediately attaches himself to him and tangles their limbs together awkwardly and Jeonghan wants to take him back to his apartment, give him food and tuck him into bed, but the feeling of his warmth around him is too much and he doesn’t want rid of it. 

 

“Why does no one want to be with me.” Seokmin says through hiccups. “Everyone wants to date me but no one actually wants to be with me.”

 

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything. He can’t. 

 

“I think I’m gonna be alone forever.” Seokmin draws out a long, over-dramatic sigh. 

 

“You won’t.” Jeonghan says weakly.

 

“Thing is,” Seokmin starts, as if he’s about to say something intelligent and coherent and completely sober. “I was sad when Jun dumped me. And Soonyoung. I was sad, but not cause I liked them. I mean — I did like them, but… I think I was expecting it to be something else. The whole time I was with them it was like… not enough. I liked both of them, but I didn’t want to be with them. I want a boyfriend so badly but not them.”

 

Jeonghan feels his fingers twitch and he squeezes his eyes shut to fight the urge to say something so moronically regretful. He doesn’t notice that Seokmin has sat up to face him until he opens his eyes again and can see every detail of his beautiful face in the weak light of the stairwell. 

 

“Would it be strange if I kissed you right now, Hannie?”

 

Jeonghan coughs awkwardly. “Wh-what?”

 

“I want to kiss you.”

 

Jeonghan wants to cry. “Seokmin, you’re drunk.”

 

“We’ve kissed drunk before.” 

 

“We have?”

 

“Yeah,” Seokmin pushes his bottom lip out in a pout and crosses his eyebrows. “You don’t remember? We’ve made out a bunch of times. You’re very affectionate when you’re drunk.”

 

Jeonghan’s mouth suddenly feels extremely dry. “I… don’t remember that. Have we done anything else?”

 

“No,” Seokmin is quick with the reply. “Unfortunately.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

Seokmin just giggles. “So, can I kiss you?”

 

“I…uh…” There’s a voice in Jeonghan’s head that is screaming and cursing at him, pounding against the inside of his brain. “Sure.”

 

Seokmin leans forward and presses his lips to Jeonghan’s so quickly that Jeonghan feels dizzy. Jeonghan lets his mouth move against his for seconds on end before finally melting against him, ignoring the sirens and screams in his head to stop. He knows this is wrong and he _feels_ wrong, but at the same time it’s like he’s floating on air. The way Seokmin’s lips feel soft and wet against his, the way the younger’s hand comes to rest at his hip — it’s completely discombobulating. 

 

Seokmin’s tongue pokes at Jeonghan’s lips and the older boy lets him in. Seokmin sighs sweetly as they kiss, tongues massaging each other gently as if they’re both too shy to make anything more intense. Seokmin pulls away first with a satsfied hum, before shifting closer to Jeonghan and lifting his hands up to the older boy’s face, leaning in for more. Jeonghan’s hands automatically go to Seokmin’s waist as they kiss more.

 

Jeonghan doesn’t want to look at Seokmin when they pull away again. He doesn’t have to, because Seokmin collapses back against the stairs and is half asleep by the time Jeonghan can breathe again. 

 

 

** ~*~ **

 

 

Jeonghan avoids Seokmin as best as he can. He knows that Seokmin probably can’t even remember what happened between them on the stairwell, but he ignores him anyway. He’s terrified of what Seokmin might say if he does remember — that it didn’t mean anything or that it was just for fun. He’s also kind of terrified of _knowing_ that Seokmin can’t remember, and that he’ll move on as if it never happened and he didn’t feel anything when Jeonghan did. Jeonghan felt everything. 

 

Jeonghan is stupid. He thinks he can just shove all his problems into a box and throw it away. He knows that ignoring Seokmin won’t help him in anyway, and it certainly won’t ensure that he won’t see the boy. Jeonghan knows he’s deluded to think that ignoring the boy he spends everyday attached at the hip with won’t go unnoticed. 

 

When his phone buzzes in his hand, a notification with Seokmin’s name attached to it, Jeonghan feels his heart sink into his shoes.

 

**_seokminnie ♡_** : hey 

**_seokminnie ♡_** : why are u ignoring me

 

Jeonghan goes to type out an answer but his fingers can’t move. 

 

**_seokminnie ♡_** : if this is because i kissed you…

**_seokminnie ♡_** : i did ask

**_seokminnie ♡_** : you said yes

 

Jeonghan watches as his phone pings incessantly with Seokmin’s messages. He hates himself. 

 

**_seokminnie ♡_** : you should’ve just said if you didn’t want me to

**_seokminnie ♡_** : please can we talk

**_seokminnie ♡_** : i miss you

 

Jeonghan flops back on his bed just as the tears begin to threaten the corner of his eyes. He wants to scream and kick the wall or throw something across the room. It’s so hard, _so_ hard. So hard to just pick up the phone and tell him what he really thinks. Or to walk himself to Seokmin’s apartment and confess everything that he’s kept wound up inside. This is his best friend of six years. It’s not easy to just turn around and say, ‘ _I think I’m in love with you because everytime we’re near each other all I want to do is hold your hand or kiss you and I hate it when you talk about other boys and I just wish that you would look at me like I’m your entire world_.’

 

It takes him eleven minutes to do it, but he does. 

 

**_hannie_** : i need to see you

 

It takes Seokmin _less_ than eleven minutes to get to his apartment and Jeonghan begins to think that he was waiting outside the building the whole time. When he arrives, they dance around each other awkwardly until Seokmin finally pushes Jeonghan onto the sofa and sits across from him, his face knitted together in an expression that Jeonghan close to never sees on him. 

 

“I—“ 

 

“Let me start.” Seokmin says and Jeonghan almost jumps at how uncharacteristic Seokmin seems. 

 

Seokmin sighs and picks at loose threads on the couch pillow, but he keeps his eyes on Jeonghan while the latter is struggling to not look away. “I don’t really know where to start but… First I want to say that I’m sorry.”

 

Jeonghan furrows his eyebrows and looks at Seokmin in confusion. He expected those words would be coming out of his mouth in this confrontation, not Seokmin’s. 

 

“I’m gonna tell you some things… Some things that I did — and said — to you. I just want to say that I’m sorry first before I explain anything to you. I want you to know that all of what I’m going to say… I’m not proud of it. I was selfish, and I’m sorry.” Seokmin sighs again, then shuffles back into the sofa to make himself more comfortable. “I made a huge mistake. Not one… but several. Five to be exact. Starting with Mingyu, then Vernon… then Jun then Soonyoung… and all those other guys in between who I can’t remember their names right. I… I didn’t want any of them. I never…”

 

Seokmin trails off, looking around the room as if he’s searching for something to give him the willpower to carry on. Jeonghan just stares at the side of his face in utter confusion. 

 

“I know I said this to you at Cheol’s but… I didn’t like Mingyu. Or Jun or Vernon… I- I mean I liked them. They’re all great, but… I didn’t _want_ any of them. It didn’t start with Mingyu, though. I thought he would be a distraction. But then by the time we broke up, it hadn’t changed. And you weren’t really talking to me so I thought that someone like Junhui or Vernon might make you a bit more mad but then that was even worse. With Soonyoung it was kind of different, and I thought that maybe I was getting over it and I would fall in love with him. But I was wrong. You know, the real reason why we broke up is because I said your name instead of his. Twice… once when we were, um… making love. The other time, I don’t remember. I was drunk. Soonyoung said we were on the way home from a night out when he told me he loved me and I said _‘I love you too, Jeonghan’_ to him.”

 

Seokmin looks up at Jeonghan for the first time since he began talking and sees the older boy staring back at him, with an expression like Seokmin had just told him that he’d cooked and eaten his dog. 

 

“Everything I did… it was to make you jealous. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea, I guess I was just sick of sitting on my hands and waiting for you to fall in love with me. I guess, I always thought that you were too good for me and you wouldn’t ever see me that way unless I proved to you that I was desirable. I didn’t want to assume anything but… I know you. I know that our friendship means more to you than to just throw it away after I start seeing somebody so…”

 

Seokmin sighs again. “I’m probably gonna regret this.” He says, and Jeonghan opens his mouth to tell him to stop being so fucking vague because he can feel his heart racing and his blood pressure is going through the roof but Seokmin cuts him off as he suddenly starts climbing over to him on the sofa and pressing his lips to Jeonghan’s. 

 

Jeonghan lets out a little squeak in shock at the kiss. Seokmin’s lips are gone as soon they were there though, and Jeonghan finds himself his face inches away from Seokmin’s, the younger’s eyes wide and lips parted as if _he_ was the one who was suddenly kissed by his best friend. 

 

Seokmin swallows before speaking. “We’ve been best friends for six years and I think I’ve been in love with you for most of that time. I just… I couldn’t take it anymore.”

 

“Seokmin…” 

 

“I’m sorry for doing that to you, I don’t know if you feel the same way and if you don’t then I’ve ruined everything but… I just thought that with you ignoring me then _maybe_ there was a chance—“

 

“Seokmin, please stop talking for two seconds.”

 

Seokmin moves back slightly, his mouth hanging open at Jeonghan’s suddenness. 

 

Jeonghan isn’t good with words, he knows this. He loves to have his feelings communicated through his actions and he knows that’s something he’s good at. He wants to tell Seokmin. He wants to be able to form words that demonstrate his feelings perfectly, but he can’t. That’s why he reaches his hands up to thread his fingers into Seokmin’s hair, resting at the top of his neck. He pushes himself up until his lips are centimetres away from Seokmin’s — the breath from the younger boy’s slightly parted mouth tickling his skin — before pressing his mouth to his again, sighing softly at the contact. 

 

Their mouths move together slowly and quietly, Jeonghan occasionally licking at Seokmin’s lips until the latter gives in and opens up to the older. Jeonghan pushes his tongue in slowly and almost tentatively, but Seokmin accepts him eagerly and gives out a satisfied little whimper as their tongues meet. 

 

It’s clichéd, but the kiss feels electric and it seems to last for hours. Jeonghan feels Seokmin start to pull away, and he knows they need to, that there’s more to say… more feelings to be discussed — but Jeonghan doesn’t want to. He wants to sit here forever, with the feeling of Seokmin’s soft, sweet lips against his. 

 

“You have no idea how many times I have dreamt of that.” Seokmin whispers against Jeonghan’s cheek, making the boy beneath him shiver. 

 

“M-me too.” Jeonghan can hardly form words. Seokmin is hovering above him, practically straddling his lap, and he looks so fucking beautiful. His hair is tousled and messed from Jeonghan’s fingers and his lips look even more pink and plump than they normally do. Jeonghan wants to cry, he’s never seen anything so gorgeous. 

 

“Really?” Seokmin says, breathlessly. 

 

Jeonghan lets out a small laugh. He adores Seokmin so much, everything about him, even his tendency to be so endearingly innocent. 

 

“Yes.” Jeonghan sighs, starting to sound like Seokmin. “I love you, Minnie. I love you so much.”

 

The most beautiful, incredible smile spreads across Seokmin’s face. Jeonghan has seen him smile thousands of times, the bright boy always cracking out his gorgeous, huge grin and radiating light wherever he goes. But this, _this_ felt different. This was so stunning because this was all for Jeonghan and Jeonghan only — and it was bursting with adoration and unadulterated passion.

 

Seokmin buries face into Jeonghan’s neck and tightens his arms around him, Jeonghan can feel him smiling against his skin. “I love you too,” Seokmin says, pressing a small kiss to the skin of Jeonghan’s neck. “I love you, Jeonghan, more than anything.”

 

Jeonghan draws slow circles on the small of Seokmin’s back with his finger, an attempt to calm the fast, erratic beat of his heart. This all feels like a dream, his head is so light he feels like he’s floating in air. Four hours ago Jeonghan was convincing himself that he had lost Seokmin forever, and now he had the love of his life in his arms, exchanging soft and sweet words with him. 

 

Jeonghan manouvers the two of them so that they’re lying completely on the sofa, legs tangled together. They giggle and tease, just like they always have done, except when silence falls they sweetly explore each other’s faces with their lips. 

 

Seokmin and Jeonghan both think to themselves at the same time, they have no idea how they got this lucky. 


End file.
